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The Great Road Trip North

October 16-20, 2008

Waking early on the first day of your vacation never seems like a good idea. I must have hit the snooze button on my cell phone at least half a dozen times before crawling out of bed to the coffee maker. Having been in the United States for over a year, I am well accustomed to the bitter taste of American coffee, whereby quality of coffee is often always substituted for quantity.

Milly and I managed to pack our bags and were out the door within an hour. We walked to the 68^th street subway station and headed to Grand Central Station. The subway station was of course packed with commuters, but we managed to navigate our way and our bags around fellow passengers and their briefcases and backpacks. I bought us both round trip tickets at Grand Central. If you are in a rush, there is the option to purchase the tickets on the train, but it is a lot more expensive. But for once we were organized! After collecting our tickets we headed to Platform 108 where the MetroNorth train would take us to White Plains, NY. As we walked down the declining ramp to the underground train station, we were greeted with a spectacular image of the male ticket collectors for each carriage of two trains. There must have been about 50 ticket collectors, looking very smart in their cerulean uniforms and top hats. Milly was very entertained by the image and couldn't stop laughing. I on the other hand, was more concerned about whether we would miss the train, and so smiled politely as I walked past the ticket collectors, confirmed the direction of the train with one of them and boarded the train. We found four seats – arranged so that there were two seats for both Milly and I and we were able to face one another and had a large window for us to share. After waiting for about 25 minutes we were off!!
We arrived in White Plains shortly after 10am. White Plains is located 28 miles north-west of New York City. I thought it would be cheaper and safer for us to start the road trip from White Plains versus somewhere in the NYC – the thought of driving through city traffic was not something I was keen on doing. We caught a cab from the train station to Westchester Airport where the car rental place was. Cabs in White Plains don't operate under typical taxi rules – there are no meters, so you pretty much pay the amount they tell you, which we presumed to include tip! After signing some rental agreement forms, I was handed the keys of a Pontiac Torrent, a 5 seater silver SUV. Milly and I were a little disappointed as we thought we were going to be driving a Chevy, but after discovering that getting an "upgrade" to a Chevy would require a lot more money, we thought that the Pontiac would do just fine.

I had to really concentrate driving – everything of course is in reverse – what side of the road you drive on, traffic circles (round-abouts) etc. Milly had the maps and we had done a very preliminary draft of where we were headed over the next four days. We were to head to Central Valley, more specifically, the home of outlet shopping. This place is THE outlet shopping place for New Yorker apparently. It gets rave reviews and we thought we should visit there to see what everyone was talking about. After all Chanel, Valentino and Prada all had outlet stores there, it must surely be worth going to! It was the perfect time for the fall foliage – it must have been a couple of days outside its peak colors and it was really beautiful seeing the different colors of the leaves – the harvest golds, the sanguine reds, the orange and the yellows – it was cornucopia of autumn colors. Milly mastered the art of taking photographs from the passenger's seat as I concentrated on heading in the right direction and staying on the right side of the road in the right lane. That's right, right?


Central Valley: it was like many typical, characterless American towns that we would stumble across on our trip. BIG strip malls – Walmart, Sears, Price Chopper, Rite Aid and then of course there was the infamous outlet store Woodbury Commons – a fancy name for lots of pokey designer stores strung together by a boring brick walkway and some forlorn looking plants that seemed desperate to leave. The only good thing was that the place was quiet. While we were on the road, it had begun to drizzle a little, soft drops of rain would fall, but it wasn't enough to warrant an umbrella (not that we had one anyway). Milly and I were starving. We found the map and located the food court. We walked past sad Halloween decorations and past empty stores until we found our destination. The food options were simply awful – pizza, Mexican, ribs, Chinese food, pretzels, hotdogs or subway. It wasn't much of a choice at all so Milly and I opted for a sandwich at Subway. It was less than average, but it dampened the howls of our empty stomachs. We ate in less than ten minutes, keen to get away from the sad sights of the food courts – overweight Americans and tourists shoveling donuts and greasy limp pizza into their mouths or watching people wheel around empty suitcases hoping that by the end of the day they would have bought enough bargains to fill their bags and empty their wallets.

Milly and I aimlessly walked around the shops for a couple of hours and then decided that we were being unproductive. And so we left. We headed to Central Valley's Walmart! And not just any Walmart, but it was a Walmart Super Center: what does that mean? Well, it is a Walmart plus a supermarket. These stores are ridiculously big, and you could easily waste an entire day in them if you weren't careful. Milly and I were good, we had a clear objective: toiletries and some little snacks for the car trip. We rambled around the store, finding cheap singlet's and knickers. I left Milly in the food section while I went to find some toiletries. After about ten minutes we found each other again, Milly smiling and looking very proud that she found some muesli bars – well actually, they weren't just any old muesli bars – they were FIBER 1 PLUS granola bars with added fiber. Yuk! Not only did Milly have these fiber bars, but she also had a big bag of prunes. I didn't think Milly thought anything of it, but I on the other hand, thought that she looked like someone who was in desperate need of a good enema!

After briefly deciding what we were going to do for the rest of the afternoon, we flipped through a couple of maps and decided that we were going to head to a small town located outside of Albany, whose name I have long forgotten. We drove for ages, both getting tired and weary and finally located a Holiday Inn. Milly ran inside and asked for the price of the cheapest room - $140/night! Forget that! I spoke to my friend and he said that if we could get to Albany he has found a hotel room for us and around half the price! Saweet! So off we went again – heading North along Interstate 87 to Albany, the capital of New York.

In typical fashion, we took the wrong turn-off – one turnoff too soon and so Milly and I found ourselves lost on the outskirts of Albany. We must have stopped at three different service stations to ask for directions and each time we managed to get lost. Finally Milly wrote down the instructions and we found ourselves back on the interstate where we went through the toll-booths for the 3^rd time, locating our hotel from the interstate. At last! We checked in to a rather lovely hotel room with crisp white sheets and a hot shower. Milly and I both checked our emails while we watched a home-buying program. We watched a woman advertise a long pearl necklace for $99.99 that she said "it is not just ok, but it's….outstandingly spectacular." Whatever does outstandingly spectacular even mean? Who knows, but she sold 500 of those damn necklaces in just 10 minutes. Not bad…not bad at all!

 

October 17, 2008 (Friday)

We woke up the next morning, having had a very good sleep and decided to have breakfast in the hotel's restaurant. There must have been 2 other people in the restaurant, which was great for us. I knew what I wanted: a big breakfast – scrambled eggs, crisp bacon, toast, home-fries (herb-seasoned potato) and coffee. Milly on the other-hand was a tricky customer. She wanted granola (muesli) and she wanted fruit, no milk no yoghurt. Just crunchy, dry bits of granola with the occasional strawberry…Interesting request, but the waitress was lovely and handled Milly's odd request beautifully. She brought Milly a couple of boxes of granola, a bowl and some sliced strawberries on the side. Milly of course didn't imagine her breakfast quite like that – she wanted the fruit ON the granola, not on the side. So as I ate my yummy scrambled eggs, Milly crunched, crunched, crunched her way through her breakfast.

After the quick breakfast, we wanted to get on the road again. We wanted to see a few antique stores/thrift stores around Albany before we left so Milly looked up some directions and we were off again. Although Albany (pop. 101, 000) has been a central force in New York State since 1614, it has retained some of its commercial dominance within the transportation and manufacturing centers, but government is now the predominant form of activity in the city. It's a very sad town, morbid even. It has no character and there is a lot of poverty. Although located in a beautiful area – close to the Adirondacks and the Hudson River, it seems like it has been forgotten, dwarfed by the much grander New York City. Milly and I were disappointed with what we saw and the lack of life in Albany and rather than stop, we decided to drive directly to Cooperstown, 65 miles away.

We opted to take the scenic way to Cooperstown so that we could see more of the beautiful country side. The roads weaved and turned through a kaleidoscope of rich autumn colors. We occasionally stopped at small quiet antique stores beside the road. The first shop we went to was a complete mess – stuff was absolutely everywhere and completely disorganized but it was cheap. I found a belt and Milly found some lovely old jewelry. Grand total: $8. The people in these small towns are lovely – they love having visitors and were often shocked to learn that there were Australian's were in their shop, "Ohhhh Australia is my favorite place in the whole wide world". Another shop we stopped in, the lady had arranged her antiques very carefully – each room having a theme: the kitchen, the living room, the dining room etc. It was sweet and a little expensive, but I found a beautiful green silk Japanese kimono with intricate flower embroidery on the back. The lady seemed lonely and wanted to chat with us, so we ended up spending about an hour in her shop, looking at things and talking with her. Milly bought some lovely old books and I bought the kimono. Realizing the time, we left and kept going until we hit scenic Cooperstown. Cooperstown is a little village (pop. 2, 200) located on Otsego Lake (with water so clear it is the towns source of drinking water) and is the commonly known as the legendary birthplace and home of the National Baseball Hall of Fame. Milly and I parked the car and found a local bakery and ordered a bagel with cream cheese and a Halloween cupcake each. The grand total: $5! Five bucks! We couldn't believe how cheap – then again everywhere is cheap compared to NYC. We walked up Main Street (inventive name huh?!) and found our way to a park located on Otsego Lake. It was indeed picturesque (minus the enormous whale of a woman sitting on the park bench). We found a spot in the sun and on a bench and quickly ate our lunch. By now it was 3pm and the sun was going down, and we could feel its cold breath. Be found our way to the shops where we wandered in and out of little boutiques selling mainly baseball –themed tourist gifts. Our next destination within Cooperstown was the infamous Fly Creek Cider Mill, which had been recommended to me by a guy I work with.

After missing the turn-off, we eventually found our way to Fly Creek, and we both immediately laughed when we approached the Mill, noticing that this must be a very popular tourist attraction with all old ladies. They were everywhere! The Fly Creed Cider Mill was built in 1856 by Hosea Williams and as been operating ever since. Each year, more than 100,000 people visit the Cider Mill. Despite the geriatric-overload it was a quaint little place. As we walked from the car to the Cider Mill I approached a couple and asked for a photo of Milly and I. They kindly obliged, squinting to peek through the eye-hole of the digital camera (I guess they didn't realize that digital camera's now have screens?) and then commented on Milly's boots, saying that "those boots are made for walking". My interpretation was that they were laughing at her ridiculous heels, but Mills just laughed it off!

So we headed into the Cider Mill, maneuvering our way around the little old ladies with large baskets filled with lots of different apple-infused condiments and other yummy treats. There wasn't a tour of the facility as such, so you had to navigate yourself around the tiny cider gallery exhibit. Milly and I watched the video about how cider was made. Mid-way through the video, the narrator said that the method used for pressing apples was called "vagina pressing". Milly and I looked at each other, the corners of our mouths turning upwards and said at the same time, "what did he just say?!!"…we had to listen to the whole video again to ensure what we heard was indeed the name…listening more carefully this time, we heard "Johnny pressing" and NOT "vagina pressing"…we laughed and left the little room with the cider press before we could embarrass ourselves any more…

We spent the next half and hour sampling different condiments –chutneys, cheeses, ciders, wines, dips, and of course cider and apples. My friend at work had told me that if you go into the room that holds the apples, there is a hilarious song that plays on repeat; it goes something like this: "Apples and cider, apples and cider, apples and cider at the Fly Creek Cider Mill"…I suppose you have to hear it to really appreciate its annoying-ness. Milly recorded the song on my cell phone and I replayed it back to my friend when I returned to NYC – it was most certainly appreciated!

After touring the facility, and buying some delicious apples, Milly and I decided to use our 10% discount coupon at the bakery on site. We both ordered hot apple cider and a hot cinnamon donut each. We took our treats and sat alongside Fly Creek, watching the ducks and chickens.



It was lovely and peaceful sitting out on the veranda. Well, lovely until a rather confident Rhode Island Red decided to investigate what crumbs she could gather from us. She pecked a little here and there and I decided to see just how far she was willing to go to get some crumbs. So I used a scrunched up paper bag as bait.

The Rhodey stode over in my direction, took the paper from my hand and ran away! The chase was on. Alice vs chook. She did well at first, weaving in and out of the picnic benches, but I eventually cornered her, where she dropped the piece of paper! Milly of course snapped the entire sequence of events!


We spent the next hour or so exploring the rest of the Fly Creek Cider Mill gardens which comprised mostly of a chicken coop and some more cut-outs. Of course, Mills and I took lots of pictures!

It was around 4:30 pm now, and the weather was becoming very chilly. We knew we had a lot of road to cover to get to Burlington, so we left Fly Creek bound for Burlington, Vermont (216 miles away). The plan was to head East on Route 20 to Albany and then take Interstate 87 to Burlington. It would be about a 4-5 hour drive tops. Or so we thought…

Oh how we got lost! Again, we stopped at a lot of service stations seeking directions, but we found ourselves lost amongst the ebony night. We were west of Lake Champlain, a beautiful 180km long, 19km wide natural freshwater lake which separates New York State and Vermont. Burlington is East of the lake, the largest city in Vermont. The challenge: to cross the lake. There were ferries, but they run between dawn and dusk…so Milly directed us to head North, where we would skip across some islands at the very North end of Lake Champlain (just 2 miles from the Canadian border) and then head south on Interstate 89 to Burlington. But we had a deadline: the motel we had booked that morning. We weren't sure what time the office would close and we were worried that we would have to spend a night in the car in freezing conditions! We also had intermittent reception on our cell phones, so as soon as a single bar was detected as reception on the cell phones Milly called "Rode Way Inn". A man answered in a thick Asian accent: "Hurro…Rode Way Inn"… Eventually, Milly found out that we had until midnight. What a relief – we still had 90 minutes! We eventually made our way to Burlington in the dead of the night, with Milly repeating "Hurro, Rode Way Inn" the ENTIRE way! I nearly swerved off the road a couple of times I was laughing so hard.

 

October 18, 2008 (Saturday)

Rode Way Inn was a dump, but it was the cheapest motel we could find. We had itchy blankets and a broken mirror in the bathroom, but it had a hot shower and it was good to be out of the car. We planned to wake up early, take advantage of the free breakfast and then check out Burlington. We really should have skipped the breakfast, but again it was free so one can't complain!

It was chilly – in the 40s probably, so we rugged up. We headed to Lake Champlain first, to see the Lake which had created so much trouble for us the previous night. There was little wind, so the Lake looked pristine. Rumor has it that Lake Champlain is home to a lake monster called, "Champ". Numerous sightings have reported a creature with a "long sinuous neck" and a body with one or more humps, 15 to 25 feet long and dark in color. The photographic evidence is tantalizing but of course inconclusive…




We then headed into downtown Burlington, population: 39,000, a town formed mostly from sustaining the students of the University of Vermont. The town has a very organic, earthy feel to it – there is an emphasis of producing, wearing and eating everything organic. We walked through a farmers market where hippies were selling the season's fruits and vegetables and heavily tattooed kids were playing drums. The townsfolk were very polite and despite their phenotypic differences, all seemed to relish in this liberal lifestyle. We walked the main street for a few hours, explored some op-shops and other shops and enjoyed a bagel at Bruegger's Bagel Bakery before calling Maggie Donin to establish a time to meet up. We met her a few hours later for coffee. She seemed very happy and fit very well into the organic community of Burlington. She brought her friend, Derek along and we all enjoyed a hot drink (Milly had some maple-infused chai tea suggested by Maggie and later told me that she didn't like it but drank it anyway). After about an hour and half, we decided that we needed to hit the road – destination Hanover New Hampshire to see Bob and Mary Donin (Maggie's parents).

With only 96 miles of road to cover, Milly and I knew that we were in for a fairly easy drive and that we could make it to Hanover before sunset. We had parked the car in the Church car park (naughty but it was free!) and just as I turned on the car's engine, sirens sounded everywhere. Before we could say "what the?", we were surrounded by fire engines and 4WD's, about 6 vehicles in total. For a split second we both thought the City of Burlington was going to great lengths to ensure that no-one parked illegally on Church property, but we realized that they were just responding to a call on the Church's property. As soon as we spotted a break, we drove away from the Church and onto Interstate 89.

Milly is an interesting passenger to have – she doesn't read maps particularly well and she eats A LOT. She does! She must have gone through at least a 700g of beef jerky, the Walmart prunes and "FIBRE PLUS" granola bars, amongst other treats in a matter of days. She maintains that she has nothing else to do but eat…

The Interstate was a little busy; especially considering we were in Vermont, but it was a pleasant and interesting drive. The road cut through the hilly Vermont land, exposing geological formations and the exquisite colors of the temperate deciduous trees - maple, oak, elm, aspen and birch.

To her credit this time, Milly provided perfect directions to Hanover and I admit was nostalgic as we drove through Hanover, since it had been four years since I was there last. After accidently driving past the Donin's house, we finally pulled into the driveway!


Milly and I let ourselves in, and were first greeted by Fenway Donin, the charming 9 year-old resident Bassett hound. He howled for about 3 seconds and then fell on the floor when I started rubbing his tummy! Oh how I miss dogs! Mary and Bob soon appeared and after a series of hugs we gathered our bags from the car and brought them indoors and to Pete's room where there were two very comfortable, very beautifully-made beds.

Bob had prepared a fire and we all sat around the fire place with a drink and some appetizers. Mills and I both tried an alcoholic cider wine which Bob had picked up at the local market. It was really good and a must for anyone living or visiting the New England area! We quickly drank two glasses each before sitting before a delicious dinner prepared by Mary: marinated pork, carrots and peas and rice. We were all chatting so much and telling stories of the past few months and years. Fenway sat underneath the table at Bob's feet, hoping to collect some scraps. Mid conversation, I attempted to puncture a carrot from the plate with my fork. The action backfired and the carrot flew off my plate onto the ground beneath me. I didn't even flinch, I picked up the carrot and popped the carrot into my mouth, hoping that no-one would realize. Perhaps if there were more people at the dinner table it would have gone un-noticed, but this time I wasn't so lucky. I looked left and I looked right and chewed that carrot as fast as I could. It was pretty funny – perhaps next time I will leave the carrot for Fenway to enjoy…

Milly learnt the rules of baseball with Bob after dinner as I flipped through the Donin's photo album from their trip to Australia in 2005/2006. We had a yummy home-made apple crumble and ice-cream for dessert before Mary retired to bed, then Milly. I tried to stay up to watch the baseball game with Bob, but even he was fading. His head would fall back, and then nod forward and then fall back again. It was pretty entertaining watching him attempt to stay awake. I scurried off to bed at around 10pm and after a hot shower, fell asleep….

October 19, 2008 (Sunday)

We had brought the Donin's apples from Fly Creek, a dozen Bruegger's bagels and cream cheese as a thank-you gift. We all enjoyed a bagel and some coffee and juice that morning. Mary had to interview someone that morning, and I thought it would be lovely to go for a walk with Mills around town. We hadn't prepared for the chilly weather, so Bob dressed Milly and I up in some clothes, drew us a little map and sent us on our way! Later Mary would say that she cannot believe Bob let us out in public like that, but Mills and I thought it was hilarious!



We walked around a couple of buildings of Dartmouth College, past the Hanover Country Club and around Occum Pond. We then headed into township of Hanover. We were hoping to get a coffee, but the coffee shop lines were too long, so we just browsed the shops. We must have looked pretty silly, dressed in all this garb…the photos (below left) is of Milly and I at Occum Pond forming a VT (for Vermont – it was Milly's idea, don't think she realized we were in New Hampshire)…


It was now past midday, so we headed back to the Donin's, feeling much better having had a walk. Mary was doing some gardening when we got back, Fenway was enjoying some scent in a bush close-by and Bob was off running some errands. Prior to our walk Milly and I had already packed our bags and loaded the car, so all we needed to do now was strip the beds of the sheets. We did that quickly, placing them in the laundry, said our goodbye's to Mary and headed to Ludlow, Vermont where I had promised to meet some old friends.

I first wanted to take Mills to Dan and Whit's, a great old-fashioned general store in Norwich VT (5 minute drive from Hanover) who stand by their motto: "if we don't have it, you don't need it". Don't be deceived by the size of the place, it is indeed small, but it is packed from floor to ceiling with things – camouflage gear for the keen hunter, powdered milk for the baby, shovels, Halloween costumes…you name it they have everything!
Milly and I bought a few trinkets, and some lollies for the 44 miles of road we had to drive.

I had done this drive many times before and it was refreshing driving on roads and through townships that were familiar. Several years ago I had worked at Okemo Mountain Resort (Mary also worked here) for several winter seasons while I was on summer holidays from undergraduate studies at Sydney University. During my time there, I met some really wonderful people and have fortunately managed to stay in contact with a handful of them over the years.

Okemo is located in Ludlow, which has an annual population of only 2500 residents. Come winter however, the place is a hive of activity, with several thousand people skiing on the mountain at any one time. This was the first time I had seen the town without a blanket of snow. I drove Milly and I to ski resort and then decided to go to my friend's house. My cell phone has no reception in Vermont and so I decided to see whether I could remember the way to his house. I hadn't been to his house in over four years and the back roads of Ludlow can be confusing, but Milly and I were willing to give it a go.

Fortunately, I remembered and I found us knocking on my friend's door. When no-one answered, I decided to open the door (in Vermont everyone leaves their doors unlocked) and see if anyone was home, "hello….? hello…? anyone at hoooooome?". My friend appeared and then another friend! One of them wasn't expecting to see me, and so it was a huge surprise!

We decided to get some lunch at the local café, Java Baba's. Notice how I say 'the'? There is only one true café in this town, and thank goodness it wasn't a Starbucks. We must have chatted for a good 2 hours, before I realized that Mills and I were supposed to meet another couple of friends of mine, Hallee and John Humler, a retired couple who were both once teachers and who occasionally work at Okemo during the winter so that they get free skiing passes! We were to meet Hallee and John at The Loft, a local hangout and a place I often visited for a beer and dinner after work. The servings here are absolutely huge, but the prices are affordable, which is what keeps bringing the locals back. John and Hallee hadn't changed a bit! After dinner, a beer and some chatting we headed back to their house in Springfield Vermont, about a 20 minute drive away.

It was freeeeeezing outside – below zero. I must have forgotten how cold it gets around here! John and Hallee live in a beautiful little 2 bedroom home on 9 acres of woodlands. Before retiring to bed, we all sat around, enjoying some Vermont-made maple dessert liquor which was yummy. Hallee and John are naturally funny people and at one point Hallee had Milly laughing hard as she was sitting across the chair, legs in the air and was suggesting possible things we could do that evening (it was about 9.30pm). We all decided that bed was the best bet and after a nice hot shower (not together of course), we all headed to bed. There was a skylight above our bed, so we could see the Northern stars above us.

October 21, 2008 (Monday)

I woke a little less than 12 hours later, feeling refreshed. Milly had not stirred, so I woke her. We both got dressed and headed downstairs to find John and Hallee making homemade pancakes with Vermont maple syrup, crispy bacon and coffee. Yum!!! We really enjoyed breakfast and watching the wildlife outdoors, particularly the chipmunks! Hallee and Mills chatted a lot about art and things to see and do in Italy, and about college. John and Hallee are very well travelled and educated, both having a Masters and are both fluent in German. Each year they travel to Austria to go skiing with friends and were incredibly jealous of Milly's impending trip to Europe.

By 11am, Mills and I were back on the road. We planned to take a couple of scenic roads south to North Adams, Massachusetts where Milly wanted to visit Massachusetts Museum of Contemporary Art (Mass MOCA). We meandered through old towns, quickly forgotten since the Interstate was laid down. We went through Weston, VT a quaint little town, home to just 630 people. Weston is famous for The Vermont Country Store, a great general store which stocks quality products and produce from Vermont and around the world (they even had Australian wool blankets!). Tourists come in bus-loads here, and the senior citizens just love this place! Milly bought a nice warm, Vermont-made lumberjack jacket, a fur hat and some lollies. I bought some old-fashioned licorice and some gnarly teeth.

We headed south for 60 miles or so. I previously mentioned that I purchased some gnarly teeth; plastic dentures that I thought would be fun to wear, especially in a rural area. So while driving Milly and I played around with the different "styles" of dentures. This was possibly the funniest time during the entire road-trip as you can see…



North Adams, Massachusetts: home to the largest contemporary visual art and performing art museum in the United States, Mass MOCA. We had arrived at 4:15pm, and we were concerned that we had missed the opportunity to see the place, since it closed at 5pm. Milly managed to get us some free passes to a select number of exhibits and we toured the museum as best we could in a short period of time. We even had the opportunity to take some silly photos.

So we left, having 146 miles left of windy roads to cover in a few short hours. By now, Milly's directions and map reading skills had improved substantially so it wasn't long until we were on the Taconic State Parkway, a freeway restricted to passenger cars only! We saw sunset over the mountains and saw deer standing beside the road. What hadn't improved during this entire road trip were Milly's time estimations. She predicted it would take us about 30 minutes (it was more like 3 hours!).

We arrived in White Plains at around 8.30pm, refueled the car and did a quick stop at Wal-Mart to buy some bargain knickers. We got hopelessly lost on our way to the car rental place at the airport and I started becoming stressed, as big fees are imposed if the car is returned late. And since we were lost, we were using the fuel from the new tank. Double stress. We made it by the skin of our teeth – with about 5 minutes to spare. We hadn't even packed our things up in the car, and by this stage it had five days of mess in it. I threw everything I had into a couple of bags and ran to return the keys, leaving Milly to pack up her things in the dark!

We eventually managed to hail a cab to the train station, where we took the 11pm train back to Manhattan. Since it was an express train, it only took 35 minutes to get to Grand Central Terminal in New York. Milly and I had a lot of stuff, so we waited for all the other passengers to exit the train before disembarking. I grabbed my things, thinking Milly was right behind me and she was for about 1 minute. Once on the platform, she placed her bags down so to attempt to pick them up in a better arrangement. I hadn't realized this, so I kept walking. I turned around briefly to witness a nice gentleman helping Milly pick up her bags. Milly started to laugh uncontrollably and I realized why – the bag that Milly was having trouble picking up had all of our 6-pack bargain knickers in them and one pack had fell out onto the platform! By then, the nice passenger had left, probably embarrassed and Milly was beside herself with laugher. As she explained the story to me, I already realized what the dilemma was….of all the bags he had to pick up, it had
to be the one with the underpants!!! At the point Milly and I fell down laughing incredibly hard, and perhaps I laughed a little too hard…

Embarrassed and still laughing at the moments beforehand, Milly and I clambered into a taxi to our apartment on East 67^th Street. The taxi driver noticed we had lots of bags and asked if we had fun on our trip. Milly replied, "Yes, we had a weely, weeeeeelly good time, didn't we Al?". Thanks Mills!

Finally home after midnight, we had showers and tucked ourselves into bed (Milly into an air mattress), knowing that we had to get up some five hours later for the Martha Stewart Show!

by the big and only alice fox.

The Guggenhiem 2008

Today I woke up to a beautiful blue sky and speckled clouds but it didn’t stop the weather being absolutely freezing outside. I lumbered around the house leaving myself 5 minutes to walk 5 blocks to meet Tash. The more of the rush I was in, the faster I would walk and the warmer I would be. We met at her fathers on 70th and Park Avenue and continued up to 87th and 5th Avenue to the Guggenheim museum. The Guggenheim was designed by frank loyd Right and the exterior itself draws a lot of tourism. Unlike when Sam and I walked around Tash and I decided to enter the museum and look at the art and the interior. When we bought our tickets they informed us that all the side exhibits would be closing in half an hour for the light exhibition where the viewers were the art. After running through all the photography and a few art spaces we kicked out to the lobby where everyone one was distributed with head lights…. Then all the lights went out. All the doors were covered with black cloths leaving only our head lights and EXIT illuminating anything. The point of the exercise was to allow the guests to view the art and exhibits in a different perspective. I think their idea would have been more effective is there were less lights because there was so many people every where was illuminated by someone else’s head light. Tash and I spent a lot of time making animals; bunnies, crocodiles, foxes and butterflies on the ceiling or cloth and catching up on my Europe trip and her university tales.

On the way home Tash was humoured when I told her we sometimes spent Christmas Day sailing on the harbour and the afternoon sleeping or in the pool. Then suddenly I got the BIGGEST surprise of my day… a puddle on the side of the road had completely frozen and with it a plastic trash bag and fall leaves. I want it to snow again, I want it to snow forever! I cannot wait for a white Christmas.

Now I am sitting on Alice’s bed while she is screaming from the bathroom as the hot water has run out and she’s stuck in a cold bath with half shaven legs. I offered to boil some water from the kettle and pass it through but she said she’d wait for the water to heat. She’s been waiting a while, and complaining even more. I just hope she jumps out before she uses all the hot water!!

p.s. this is totally irrelevant but this is the little chest of draws I found at Hells Kitchen Markets under all the mess..

xx m

Long Text but I shall add photos when i get apple internet!!!!

OUI OUI EFFIEL TOWER

Sam and I decided on booking the earliest train to Paris from London because it was the cheapest however staying at Reece’s, well out of the city in Uxbridge we had to get a cab to the station so we didn’t save money but only lost sleep. Lucky for me I can fall asleep anywhere and so I did for the whole trip on Sam’s lap whilst he stayed up straight straight straight in those B grade seats. We got to our new hotel, which was very sweet, a bed and a sink. The toilet was shared with the whole level, another 5 rooms and the shower was located on the 2nd floor and cost an additional 6E to use. Fortunately for us Sam and I were smart and after the first use we discovered there was an unlimited hot water so we would have a relay where after 6 minutes Sam and I would come and dance our knuckles on the shower door, swap positions and he or I would continue the shower without having to pay another 6E. The only draw back was that the lock could only be turned once so when you opened it for the other to come in the shower would not lock. Lucky for us no walked in on either of us or caught us in the act. Other than the inconvenient shower and bathroom our little hotel was located close to the metropolitan, the Louvre, cute shops and inexpensive restaurants.
We had lovely weather so spent a lot of our time walking around seeing the sights. We went to the Louvre but Sam was not interested in art so whilst he raced through the exhibitions I walked slowly through looking at the beautiful ceilings and artworks around the place. The setup of the Louvre was different from when I last went and there was a lot of restoration underway as well as the beginning of the construction of a new area for Iraq artworks. There was an area for plans of the building being built and Sam and I both agreed it was horrible. Right in the middle of the square a huge white, hologram, and chameleon skin coloured rippled sheet that covered the whole area. It did not go with any of the surrounding buildings and looked like it would block the view of the lovely old buildings. Maybe that was the point but it was not very tasteful.

On the second day of Paris Sam and I decided to go to Versailles. The day was cold so we rugged up as it were even colder once you get out of the city. Our trip was going very even meeting fellow Richmond travelers on the train until we had to transfer trains for the last two stops. Unfortunately for Sam and I the next train was delayed, then cancelled so we had to wait two hours in the freezing cold, Sam thinks about 4C. We couldn’t sit still for too long so after half an hour of walking the station we found an open gate and went exploring the cute little French town. I even order un croissant and un elcair chocolat for Sam et moi. At last we arrived in Versailles and it began to rain ice. It was so cold, we waited in a long queue but finally got our earpieces and took ourselves on a tour of the beautiful castle and gardens. The castle was still very beautiful as it had all been restored with fresh stone and vibrant wallpapers, each room a different colour and detailed extravagantly.

The only let down was there were these huge, grotesque, bright coloured ‘modern art’ sculptures that littered the rooms and cloisters of the castle. They were supposed to be a modern interpretation and reflection of the room in which they were in however unlike the Asians tourists I found them distracting and in the way. As the day went on the weather got worse but Sam and I were enjoying the castle too much to care. We walked down through the beautifully geometric and excessive gardens lined with marble statues and vases, parallel grass fields, sweet little fountains and sky high hedges. Because it was raining and absolutely freezing, we had the gardens to ourselves so we walked freely around. I thought the castle of Marie Antoinette suited me very much and I would happily live there is someone kept it heated as it was for us, while Sam agreed it was also for him “can you imagine, you could play inside cricket all the time and no one would care!!!”. Sigh!! Walkie Talkie hide-and-go-seek Winnie? After reaching breaking point were we were too wet and our jackets were beginning to turn to ice we decided to head back to Paris.


Five minutes from the exit Sam decides to dance around a water fountain, unfortunately for him his high spirits were killed when his camera fell out of his pocket and into the pond. His new $500 touch screen, 10.1 megapixel camera SPLOOOSHED into the ice cold fountain. High highly trained fast twitch fibres extended and retracted so fast that he caught the camera before it hit the bottom and pulled it out. We ran to the nearest restroom and held it under a drier… it is still working today just a little bit slow!

The next couple of days we did tourist things and absorb the culture and beauty and taste of the city. Baguette and éclair, baguette and chocolate, baguette and croissant, Panini and pain de chocolate, etc. We went to musee de’orsey and saw Picasso’s interpretation of Manet’s après dejeuner sur le jardin. Sam and I put on the Aussie smile attitude when we almost got escorted out of the museum for taking photos of ourselves and Picasso’s work in background. Whoops.
We also climbed the Eiffel Tower, Arc de triomphe, saw the Moulin Rouge, Notre Dame Church, River Seine and Champs Elysse. Sam and I had great weather and timing for Paris, we managed to fill in the cold days with museums but stole beautiful clear sunny days for climbing the Eiffel tower. Sam and I looking “Swedish” so everyone was very nice to us including the man with a limb in from of us, “Nash”. Since the day was so beautiful the queue was very long so we were inclined to talk to this poor lonesome man for a while. He was very sweet and said he would take photos for us from all four sides of the Eiffel Tower when we reached the top and so we could do the same for him. Sam and I were very careful when taking photos for Nash Torrez ensuring that the background was in focus, of cultural significance as well as including a smiling Nash in the photo. Nash didn’t quite have our artistic and outlook of taking photos as we did and every single photo although was encouraged by Torrez “beautiful, great spot, fantastic photo” was absolutely terrible. There was tourists walking across most, no background, scaffolding, sun behind out heads, closed eyes or blurry. Sigh. I think out of thirty photos we have one which after cropping and editing is okay. Unfortunately we did not stay too long up the top because I got vertigo and felt like I was going to be sick the whole time. It wasn’t much fun for me and I was so happy to have my feet on the ground.

On Saturday night my French friends, Adeline and Marc that I became good friends with in NYC decided to take Sam and I out for a night. We met Adeline for dinner, she took us ironically to an American Diner but it was so good to have a red meat burger instead of another white bread Panini. Our loud neighbours began talking to us about the American election then about Australia saying how odd it was living on Oxford St, I tried to practice my French after 3 cocktails yelling “je t’aime” instead of “ils t’aime”. They all looked at me oddly then continued eating their dinners, for English-only speakers I yelled, “I love you” instead of “they love you” whoops. I also made the mistake within fifteen minutes of saying to Adeline with the angriest look and voice “je taime profiteroiles” instead of “je deteste”. Everyone was crying with laughter again. After dinner we headed out to some exclusive clubs just off the Champs Elysse with Marc and their friends. They were all so glamorous and I felt so frumpy in my dirty white smock, scruffy big shoes, and messy hair. Marc being a high roller in Paris took us two of the most exclusive clubs in Paris where we walked straight in, no line waiting for us. When I was wondering around with Zoe, a girl I met, we began chatting to a friendly French man who after discovering I was Australian asked “how the hell did you get in here?” as I looked around I realized the place was infested with super skinny and tall models. Tehe. Feeling depressed about my dessert pear shape I went to buy Sam and I some drinks. As clubs do not cover charge and tips are given sparsely two drinks cost us 40E. We only bought one drink that night. All in all it was a very fun night were I had an entire conversation in French with a couple of guys. I asked them their names, how they are, and answered a lot of their conversations with “je ne sais pas” then ran away before they discovered my real origin.
Sam and I also met up with my friend Georgie, 18, from school. She is the gorgeous redhead that ran away from Australia with her boyfriend currently 34 to pursue modeling in Paris, London, and Milan etc. She has been in London for 3 years and she has the strongest English accent I have ever heard. Even when we were in London no one spoke with such a fervent accent, it was almost comical and it was waterloo accent so not even that pleasing to the ear. So weird.

As Sam and I’s money begins to deplete we try to save our money but filling up on coffee for breakfast and having a lunch/dinner as late as we can in a day. One day Sam and I got so preoccupied with exploring the Lafayette and Printemps shops (most gorgeous stores full of beautiful clothes) that I was getting close to 8pm and we still had not had lunch or dinner. We could not find an open patisserie but only pizza shops which were selling pizzas for 24E each. I was happy to continue walking around the area in hope of coming across something less expensive but Sam was feeling sick with hunger. He decided that he would shout pizza hut pizza that was bound to be cheaper than 24E. Having to ask the clergyman down stairs to order but finally our pizza’s arrived. Unfortunately the clergyman did not speak much English either so ordered wrong pizzas, instead of one large costing 10E, he ordered 2 medium costing 40E!!! To top it off they forgot to slice the pizzas so Sam and I had to tear pieces of pizza off to eat. Oh well, Sam’s shout!!

After Paris we headed to Florence. Unfortunately we did not realize you had to book train tickets at minimum three days ahead we found a cheap airline that cost the same amount as the train to take us to Florence. After finding out the flight had been delayed two hours Sam and I made a picnic in the middle of the airport floor with beer (from duty free) and sandwich’s. Finally the aircraft was ready to be boarded, we walked out on to the ash fault and up some rickety stairs then it was first there first served with the seats. Sam and I got two together but as usual a large man sat next to Sam so Sam couldn’t sit his broad shoulders back. The plane was definitely not worth what we paid for, no food, rude airhostess’s, no TV, small seats, and the engine was so loud Sam and I had to watch a movie on my computer. When the plane landed EVERYONE clapped and cheered. I could not stop laughing, why were people clapping, was it not often that with RyanAir you did not land safely getting from A to B? Were they usually more than two and a half hours overtime? So weird. After climbing down more rickety stairs we jumped onto bus thinking that since there was a bus we were a long way from the terminal. After fifteen minutes of waiting the bus moved 30 meters across the ashfault were we collected our luggage.

We arrived at our hotel 3am and fell instantly asleep in our authentic Italian room. We got up early to ensure we did not miss out on breakfast, devon and cheese sandwiches and coffee. I tried to be the good traveler and save one for lunch but meat doesn’t travel and they were not all that tasty, 5E margarita pizza is so much more appealing. The next day weather was wet but not cold, I remembered Florence quite well and took Sam to the markets, the Duomo, Ponte Vecchio and to my favourite Pizzeria. The next couple of days the weather warmed and dried so Sam and I were walking in tshirts and dresses. After the Uffizi where we saw works by Botticelli, LeonardodaVinci and Michelangelo I tried to show off and take Sam the “back route” to the real statue of David. I got lost but instead of accepting defeat I pretended that the little town we came across had the greatest gelato in Tuscany and ordered him a cup in the best Italian. After an hour of walking up a green, cobble, back street where we found a beautiful non-tourist ridden lookout spot over Florence. We self timed a few photos which are horrible, I had removed my usual flowy top to reveal a tight white tank I had underneath that showed my huge bump on the front, sides and back. So upsetting I am so fat. When I went jean shopping I was two sizes up from when I left Sydney!! ARGH. I cannot help but taste the sweet delicious morsels from the gourmet heavens.

My Italian came in very handy when I bargained at the markets saying it was too expensive or asking for different colours. However they all speak perfect English and obviously picked up my little Australian accent and replied in English. One night Sam and I needed new towel and glasses for our Tuscan Wine and the clergyman spoke no English. I got two fresh towels, two mugs and two wine glasses, I thought I did okay.

No other stories really, except being called pregnant by a leather salesman saying I could use the two way zipper when I was due, another leather salesman getting his cigarette lighter and put the flame to the leather jacket or getting called wife, boss by others. I guess I just know what I like and finally found a nice jacket for Sam. Sam and I did our first washing the other day and two hustlerbeggars came into the room and tried to grab my bag that was on the table. One took a heavy right hander from Sam and other a back kangaroo kick and they never hustled again….


I’m on a speed train now… Off to Roma!!!

Love my fattsy self. … . . . . P.s. no one is replying to me… I am all alone except my second stomach. How is Sydney and nyc?
X x x x

"These Toy Soldiers..."

Salut family.

Sam and I are almost a third of our way through our Europe travels and we’re still smiles. We have lived on people’s floors and uncomfortable mattresses but have managed to stay away from hostels… so far.

My last week in New York was very chaotic getting ready to leave and my road trip with Alice. After having my roommate very kindly drove me to the Upper East Side in his Tarago I found a blow-up mattress and slept on Alice’s floor. After our road trip of Inns, Motels and guests bedrooms I returned to my blow up mattress on the floor. The next couple of nights Alice stayed at her friends as her shower and toilet were being renovated. Twice I had to run down to the local pub, pulling trackies over my PJ’s to go to the bathroom. Luckily I slept through the nights so there were no emergency fire window escapes or kitchen sink!!


Without a shower and bathroom I felt it was hygienically necessary and appropriate to have a shower before I saw Sam for the first time in 5 months. Having become quite close to Nathasha’s family I went over to Natasha’s dads place 4 blocks from Alice’s place and asked to use their shower. They were very happy to see me and fed me tea and delicious chocolate. At 4am I woke to my alarm clock, brushed my teeth, packed my bag, arranged my stuff more neatly and stumbled out the door in the close-to-zero temps (forecasted for snow!) to find a cab.

After a long cab and a lot of waiting I finally was seated in my airplane seat. Being a terrible girlfriend I hadn’t really gotten sam a birthday present so I picked him up a small, inexpensive treat from the duty free area. However the airline and duty-free pickups did not line up so all customers had to gather at the front on the plane blocking all the isles and entrances to revieve their items. Finally they matched my ticktets and allowed me back to my seat. Two minutes later “Miss Millicent Fox” was announced over the speaker and I had to excuse myself past my patient neighbour. My luggage tag had come off and they were just confirming the lovely huge, purple, gumstained travel pack was mine. I had to wait again next to the air hostess as they decided what to do with my unlabelled bagged. Unfortunately that day I decided to wear a red cardigan with gold buttons and standing next to an air hostess was a bad idea as people kept flashing their tickets or looking at me oddly as if I should greet them. Finally if I stared blankly, half wittedly with a smile on my face the just kind of ignored me. At last I was at my seat, we took off and flew 35,000 feet in the air. My neighbour was very sweet, he was 20 or 30 something and was doing his cardio residency at the Belair(?) I cannot remember but it was a famous hospital he said on the UES. He was transferring to another hospital that is number one for cardio, again I cannot remember the name.

After arriving at the airport I was so worried how Sam and I would respond with each other, it was awkward at first but then I started talking and it was all perfect. The next day I was excited and full of energy so Sam and I embarked on a huge walk. We started walking through Hyde Park, down Oxford Street, down Regent Street, through Piccadilly Circle, To Buckingham Palace to watch the guards change over, to Big Ben and the … Cathedral, across the River Thames past the London Eye, 35L = $110 so never went on. We travelled back across the river to trafagular square, down back down to Buckingham palace, up Regent street across oxford and through the park. I found it so lovely but little Sam was so tired from his 27 hour flight, feeling like he had stayed awake for 3 days and night did feel the Sam. Being the day of my birthday however he followed behind my by the hand. The only part of the whole day that Sam finally seemed to have a bit of spirit was when he saw a squirrel. He had never seen one before and found them so adoreable and sweet he could not resist trying to catch one. He never caught one but he is determined to try again in Central Park. That night we headed to Oxford to meet my good friend Tash and her best friend Michaela. We caught a long hour and a half train and there were no seats and Sam was so exhausted he sat on the floor, the office workers were all jealous but could not stoop as low. We arrived at michaela’s apartment at Oxford university, she is studying French and Italian, had champagne sushi and headed to a few Oxford Uni Bars before a party we had tickets too. It was very fun and people were very nice buying me birthday drinks. Sam disappeared at one point leaving Tash, Michaela and I and we somehow found our way on the stage with the Crookers. Mom, dad and whoever else doesn’t know their a globally known DJ duo. It was very fun and they loved us.


The next day Sam and I walked around Oxford, it was very beautiful will massive mansions and old stone buildings. It had been two days since I had seen Sam and we’d talked about friends, family, things, work, pets, farm, cars, plants, clothes, sisters, brothers, weddings, travels and we were walking in semi silence. To break the ice I began freestyling. I thought I was getting pretty good but Sam just kept telling me to shut up. When we pet up with Michela that afternoon when she took us on a on a mini-tour of Oxford university she laughed in my face and said I was terrible. I am not content with silence. Michaela showed us the ‘old tree’ the famous cloisters but most importantly showed us areas were Harry Potter was filmed. I instantly felt like a witch and wished for a robe.

Sam has a friend from school who plays soccer for England who came and picked us up and let us crash at his place. In return Sam and I cooked burgers. During the two days left in London we went to the Portobello Markets, walked the Tower Bridge, went to Harrods, Shakespeare’s Globe and Carnaby Street.


At the markets Sam and Reece did not have much of an interest instead it was me picking through vintage boxes, jewellery, watches, badges while they would pick up an old hammer and hit each other on the arm until the seller told them it cost 90E. At one point we passed a TAB and the two boys stopped and talked about a automated Roulette machine which sam was SO interested by I said I was going to walk-on down Portobello road and they can catch up. As I walked off I had to go to the restroom but I had no idea where I was. There were no commercial chain stores or public toilets so I tried to hold on till the boys came. After 15 minutes I could not hold it any more so I asked this gentle looking man selling old vintage army and navy jackets. “Of course sweetie” he said “I’ll take you there myself, I was just on my way”. He took me by the arm and led me off to the nearest cafeteria talking away about his jackets. I was just so happy to find a restroom I was so surprised when Sam RAN up behind me grabbing my by both arms almost knocking me to the floor “AH there you are, WHERE ARE YOU GOING???” Awww poor Sam, he had caught up just in time to see me being left off by an older man by the arm. I reassured Sam of my safety and went off to the cafeteria restroom.
The end of London… Off to Paris..

The Road Trip for A - Z

The Road-trip for A – Z

You’ll never believe where I am writing from, 34 000 feet above the united states of America on my way to cross over Finland and then traveling south to England. Unfortunately they have no internet wireless up here which I do not understand cause we’re closer to the satellites up here. Oh well, I will save, exit and send on arrival.

On the morning of Thursday 16 November I woke from a terrible sleep on an air mattress on Alice’s new Upper East Side apartment. It wouldn’t of been so bad if I hadn’t moved at all or I was a tube and was the same weight all over. Every time I moved my hips especially would sink quickly and SMASH onto the floor which hurt and made me wake. Then I would lie awake waiting for the fridge generator to stop humming for just a little bit. After a quick pack Alice and I headed down to the Grand Central Station to catch our train to White Plains. After an hour and a half Alice and I arrived at the desolate(?) ‘city’ of White Plains. We collected our car from the airport and began our journey. We headed West across New York State and North to Woodbury Commons, a high end fashion retail outlet complex. We arrived early and the place was almost empty. Alice and I have big expectations were slowly let down as we went into each department store and finding only small discounts, used items or just ugly cloths. We tried and tried to make the most of the Chloe, YSL, Gucci, Juicy Couture, Valentino, Missioni, TSL, Jimmy Choo etc stores but it was just useless. Alice and I finally left defeated without purchasing anything at all from the whole entire complex so headed to Walmart which we saw upon entering …



Walmart is amazing, we went to a superstore which included everything and a supermaket! It was equilivant of Kmart, Target, Coles, Woolworths, Farmland with more options and over the largest space. Alice and I tried to stick together but as I would be drawn to something across the way Alice would wander so we were constantly separately then reuniting when we were both drawn to the same thing, cheap nickers!!! We decided to buy some food and Alice thought it was so funny that I had 24 OZ of beef jerkey, carrots, prunes and “fibre plus” muslei bars. Alice then explained the lethal combination of prunes and fibre plus so I swapped them for some other ones. I didn’t realized they made you go to the bathroom a lot, I thought they were just healthy as they advertise fibre plus everywhere. So gross! We left with our bags and headed to Albany. As it started to get dark Alice and I decided we should find a place to rest at the next town. We pulled into a holiday Inn and asked how much a double room would cost, $149!!! We refused and were determined to find somewhere cheaper. Alice told Asheesh, her doctor friend in NYC who said he would help us find a nice safe cheap to stay. He booked us a room at the Holiday Inn in Albany, unfortunately Albany was a 3 hour drive from where we were and my poor map skills, the nighttime, tiredness and frustration kept leading Alice and I in and around, in and around Albany till finally after getting so 

The roadtrip