Long Text but I shall add photos when i get apple internet!!!!

OUI OUI EFFIEL TOWER

Sam and I decided on booking the earliest train to Paris from London because it was the cheapest however staying at Reece’s, well out of the city in Uxbridge we had to get a cab to the station so we didn’t save money but only lost sleep. Lucky for me I can fall asleep anywhere and so I did for the whole trip on Sam’s lap whilst he stayed up straight straight straight in those B grade seats. We got to our new hotel, which was very sweet, a bed and a sink. The toilet was shared with the whole level, another 5 rooms and the shower was located on the 2nd floor and cost an additional 6E to use. Fortunately for us Sam and I were smart and after the first use we discovered there was an unlimited hot water so we would have a relay where after 6 minutes Sam and I would come and dance our knuckles on the shower door, swap positions and he or I would continue the shower without having to pay another 6E. The only draw back was that the lock could only be turned once so when you opened it for the other to come in the shower would not lock. Lucky for us no walked in on either of us or caught us in the act. Other than the inconvenient shower and bathroom our little hotel was located close to the metropolitan, the Louvre, cute shops and inexpensive restaurants.
We had lovely weather so spent a lot of our time walking around seeing the sights. We went to the Louvre but Sam was not interested in art so whilst he raced through the exhibitions I walked slowly through looking at the beautiful ceilings and artworks around the place. The setup of the Louvre was different from when I last went and there was a lot of restoration underway as well as the beginning of the construction of a new area for Iraq artworks. There was an area for plans of the building being built and Sam and I both agreed it was horrible. Right in the middle of the square a huge white, hologram, and chameleon skin coloured rippled sheet that covered the whole area. It did not go with any of the surrounding buildings and looked like it would block the view of the lovely old buildings. Maybe that was the point but it was not very tasteful.

On the second day of Paris Sam and I decided to go to Versailles. The day was cold so we rugged up as it were even colder once you get out of the city. Our trip was going very even meeting fellow Richmond travelers on the train until we had to transfer trains for the last two stops. Unfortunately for Sam and I the next train was delayed, then cancelled so we had to wait two hours in the freezing cold, Sam thinks about 4C. We couldn’t sit still for too long so after half an hour of walking the station we found an open gate and went exploring the cute little French town. I even order un croissant and un elcair chocolat for Sam et moi. At last we arrived in Versailles and it began to rain ice. It was so cold, we waited in a long queue but finally got our earpieces and took ourselves on a tour of the beautiful castle and gardens. The castle was still very beautiful as it had all been restored with fresh stone and vibrant wallpapers, each room a different colour and detailed extravagantly.

The only let down was there were these huge, grotesque, bright coloured ‘modern art’ sculptures that littered the rooms and cloisters of the castle. They were supposed to be a modern interpretation and reflection of the room in which they were in however unlike the Asians tourists I found them distracting and in the way. As the day went on the weather got worse but Sam and I were enjoying the castle too much to care. We walked down through the beautifully geometric and excessive gardens lined with marble statues and vases, parallel grass fields, sweet little fountains and sky high hedges. Because it was raining and absolutely freezing, we had the gardens to ourselves so we walked freely around. I thought the castle of Marie Antoinette suited me very much and I would happily live there is someone kept it heated as it was for us, while Sam agreed it was also for him “can you imagine, you could play inside cricket all the time and no one would care!!!”. Sigh!! Walkie Talkie hide-and-go-seek Winnie? After reaching breaking point were we were too wet and our jackets were beginning to turn to ice we decided to head back to Paris.


Five minutes from the exit Sam decides to dance around a water fountain, unfortunately for him his high spirits were killed when his camera fell out of his pocket and into the pond. His new $500 touch screen, 10.1 megapixel camera SPLOOOSHED into the ice cold fountain. High highly trained fast twitch fibres extended and retracted so fast that he caught the camera before it hit the bottom and pulled it out. We ran to the nearest restroom and held it under a drier… it is still working today just a little bit slow!

The next couple of days we did tourist things and absorb the culture and beauty and taste of the city. Baguette and éclair, baguette and chocolate, baguette and croissant, Panini and pain de chocolate, etc. We went to musee de’orsey and saw Picasso’s interpretation of Manet’s après dejeuner sur le jardin. Sam and I put on the Aussie smile attitude when we almost got escorted out of the museum for taking photos of ourselves and Picasso’s work in background. Whoops.
We also climbed the Eiffel Tower, Arc de triomphe, saw the Moulin Rouge, Notre Dame Church, River Seine and Champs Elysse. Sam and I had great weather and timing for Paris, we managed to fill in the cold days with museums but stole beautiful clear sunny days for climbing the Eiffel tower. Sam and I looking “Swedish” so everyone was very nice to us including the man with a limb in from of us, “Nash”. Since the day was so beautiful the queue was very long so we were inclined to talk to this poor lonesome man for a while. He was very sweet and said he would take photos for us from all four sides of the Eiffel Tower when we reached the top and so we could do the same for him. Sam and I were very careful when taking photos for Nash Torrez ensuring that the background was in focus, of cultural significance as well as including a smiling Nash in the photo. Nash didn’t quite have our artistic and outlook of taking photos as we did and every single photo although was encouraged by Torrez “beautiful, great spot, fantastic photo” was absolutely terrible. There was tourists walking across most, no background, scaffolding, sun behind out heads, closed eyes or blurry. Sigh. I think out of thirty photos we have one which after cropping and editing is okay. Unfortunately we did not stay too long up the top because I got vertigo and felt like I was going to be sick the whole time. It wasn’t much fun for me and I was so happy to have my feet on the ground.

On Saturday night my French friends, Adeline and Marc that I became good friends with in NYC decided to take Sam and I out for a night. We met Adeline for dinner, she took us ironically to an American Diner but it was so good to have a red meat burger instead of another white bread Panini. Our loud neighbours began talking to us about the American election then about Australia saying how odd it was living on Oxford St, I tried to practice my French after 3 cocktails yelling “je t’aime” instead of “ils t’aime”. They all looked at me oddly then continued eating their dinners, for English-only speakers I yelled, “I love you” instead of “they love you” whoops. I also made the mistake within fifteen minutes of saying to Adeline with the angriest look and voice “je taime profiteroiles” instead of “je deteste”. Everyone was crying with laughter again. After dinner we headed out to some exclusive clubs just off the Champs Elysse with Marc and their friends. They were all so glamorous and I felt so frumpy in my dirty white smock, scruffy big shoes, and messy hair. Marc being a high roller in Paris took us two of the most exclusive clubs in Paris where we walked straight in, no line waiting for us. When I was wondering around with Zoe, a girl I met, we began chatting to a friendly French man who after discovering I was Australian asked “how the hell did you get in here?” as I looked around I realized the place was infested with super skinny and tall models. Tehe. Feeling depressed about my dessert pear shape I went to buy Sam and I some drinks. As clubs do not cover charge and tips are given sparsely two drinks cost us 40E. We only bought one drink that night. All in all it was a very fun night were I had an entire conversation in French with a couple of guys. I asked them their names, how they are, and answered a lot of their conversations with “je ne sais pas” then ran away before they discovered my real origin.
Sam and I also met up with my friend Georgie, 18, from school. She is the gorgeous redhead that ran away from Australia with her boyfriend currently 34 to pursue modeling in Paris, London, and Milan etc. She has been in London for 3 years and she has the strongest English accent I have ever heard. Even when we were in London no one spoke with such a fervent accent, it was almost comical and it was waterloo accent so not even that pleasing to the ear. So weird.

As Sam and I’s money begins to deplete we try to save our money but filling up on coffee for breakfast and having a lunch/dinner as late as we can in a day. One day Sam and I got so preoccupied with exploring the Lafayette and Printemps shops (most gorgeous stores full of beautiful clothes) that I was getting close to 8pm and we still had not had lunch or dinner. We could not find an open patisserie but only pizza shops which were selling pizzas for 24E each. I was happy to continue walking around the area in hope of coming across something less expensive but Sam was feeling sick with hunger. He decided that he would shout pizza hut pizza that was bound to be cheaper than 24E. Having to ask the clergyman down stairs to order but finally our pizza’s arrived. Unfortunately the clergyman did not speak much English either so ordered wrong pizzas, instead of one large costing 10E, he ordered 2 medium costing 40E!!! To top it off they forgot to slice the pizzas so Sam and I had to tear pieces of pizza off to eat. Oh well, Sam’s shout!!

After Paris we headed to Florence. Unfortunately we did not realize you had to book train tickets at minimum three days ahead we found a cheap airline that cost the same amount as the train to take us to Florence. After finding out the flight had been delayed two hours Sam and I made a picnic in the middle of the airport floor with beer (from duty free) and sandwich’s. Finally the aircraft was ready to be boarded, we walked out on to the ash fault and up some rickety stairs then it was first there first served with the seats. Sam and I got two together but as usual a large man sat next to Sam so Sam couldn’t sit his broad shoulders back. The plane was definitely not worth what we paid for, no food, rude airhostess’s, no TV, small seats, and the engine was so loud Sam and I had to watch a movie on my computer. When the plane landed EVERYONE clapped and cheered. I could not stop laughing, why were people clapping, was it not often that with RyanAir you did not land safely getting from A to B? Were they usually more than two and a half hours overtime? So weird. After climbing down more rickety stairs we jumped onto bus thinking that since there was a bus we were a long way from the terminal. After fifteen minutes of waiting the bus moved 30 meters across the ashfault were we collected our luggage.

We arrived at our hotel 3am and fell instantly asleep in our authentic Italian room. We got up early to ensure we did not miss out on breakfast, devon and cheese sandwiches and coffee. I tried to be the good traveler and save one for lunch but meat doesn’t travel and they were not all that tasty, 5E margarita pizza is so much more appealing. The next day weather was wet but not cold, I remembered Florence quite well and took Sam to the markets, the Duomo, Ponte Vecchio and to my favourite Pizzeria. The next couple of days the weather warmed and dried so Sam and I were walking in tshirts and dresses. After the Uffizi where we saw works by Botticelli, LeonardodaVinci and Michelangelo I tried to show off and take Sam the “back route” to the real statue of David. I got lost but instead of accepting defeat I pretended that the little town we came across had the greatest gelato in Tuscany and ordered him a cup in the best Italian. After an hour of walking up a green, cobble, back street where we found a beautiful non-tourist ridden lookout spot over Florence. We self timed a few photos which are horrible, I had removed my usual flowy top to reveal a tight white tank I had underneath that showed my huge bump on the front, sides and back. So upsetting I am so fat. When I went jean shopping I was two sizes up from when I left Sydney!! ARGH. I cannot help but taste the sweet delicious morsels from the gourmet heavens.

My Italian came in very handy when I bargained at the markets saying it was too expensive or asking for different colours. However they all speak perfect English and obviously picked up my little Australian accent and replied in English. One night Sam and I needed new towel and glasses for our Tuscan Wine and the clergyman spoke no English. I got two fresh towels, two mugs and two wine glasses, I thought I did okay.

No other stories really, except being called pregnant by a leather salesman saying I could use the two way zipper when I was due, another leather salesman getting his cigarette lighter and put the flame to the leather jacket or getting called wife, boss by others. I guess I just know what I like and finally found a nice jacket for Sam. Sam and I did our first washing the other day and two hustlerbeggars came into the room and tried to grab my bag that was on the table. One took a heavy right hander from Sam and other a back kangaroo kick and they never hustled again….


I’m on a speed train now… Off to Roma!!!

Love my fattsy self. … . . . . P.s. no one is replying to me… I am all alone except my second stomach. How is Sydney and nyc?
X x x x

"These Toy Soldiers..."

Salut family.

Sam and I are almost a third of our way through our Europe travels and we’re still smiles. We have lived on people’s floors and uncomfortable mattresses but have managed to stay away from hostels… so far.

My last week in New York was very chaotic getting ready to leave and my road trip with Alice. After having my roommate very kindly drove me to the Upper East Side in his Tarago I found a blow-up mattress and slept on Alice’s floor. After our road trip of Inns, Motels and guests bedrooms I returned to my blow up mattress on the floor. The next couple of nights Alice stayed at her friends as her shower and toilet were being renovated. Twice I had to run down to the local pub, pulling trackies over my PJ’s to go to the bathroom. Luckily I slept through the nights so there were no emergency fire window escapes or kitchen sink!!


Without a shower and bathroom I felt it was hygienically necessary and appropriate to have a shower before I saw Sam for the first time in 5 months. Having become quite close to Nathasha’s family I went over to Natasha’s dads place 4 blocks from Alice’s place and asked to use their shower. They were very happy to see me and fed me tea and delicious chocolate. At 4am I woke to my alarm clock, brushed my teeth, packed my bag, arranged my stuff more neatly and stumbled out the door in the close-to-zero temps (forecasted for snow!) to find a cab.

After a long cab and a lot of waiting I finally was seated in my airplane seat. Being a terrible girlfriend I hadn’t really gotten sam a birthday present so I picked him up a small, inexpensive treat from the duty free area. However the airline and duty-free pickups did not line up so all customers had to gather at the front on the plane blocking all the isles and entrances to revieve their items. Finally they matched my ticktets and allowed me back to my seat. Two minutes later “Miss Millicent Fox” was announced over the speaker and I had to excuse myself past my patient neighbour. My luggage tag had come off and they were just confirming the lovely huge, purple, gumstained travel pack was mine. I had to wait again next to the air hostess as they decided what to do with my unlabelled bagged. Unfortunately that day I decided to wear a red cardigan with gold buttons and standing next to an air hostess was a bad idea as people kept flashing their tickets or looking at me oddly as if I should greet them. Finally if I stared blankly, half wittedly with a smile on my face the just kind of ignored me. At last I was at my seat, we took off and flew 35,000 feet in the air. My neighbour was very sweet, he was 20 or 30 something and was doing his cardio residency at the Belair(?) I cannot remember but it was a famous hospital he said on the UES. He was transferring to another hospital that is number one for cardio, again I cannot remember the name.

After arriving at the airport I was so worried how Sam and I would respond with each other, it was awkward at first but then I started talking and it was all perfect. The next day I was excited and full of energy so Sam and I embarked on a huge walk. We started walking through Hyde Park, down Oxford Street, down Regent Street, through Piccadilly Circle, To Buckingham Palace to watch the guards change over, to Big Ben and the … Cathedral, across the River Thames past the London Eye, 35L = $110 so never went on. We travelled back across the river to trafagular square, down back down to Buckingham palace, up Regent street across oxford and through the park. I found it so lovely but little Sam was so tired from his 27 hour flight, feeling like he had stayed awake for 3 days and night did feel the Sam. Being the day of my birthday however he followed behind my by the hand. The only part of the whole day that Sam finally seemed to have a bit of spirit was when he saw a squirrel. He had never seen one before and found them so adoreable and sweet he could not resist trying to catch one. He never caught one but he is determined to try again in Central Park. That night we headed to Oxford to meet my good friend Tash and her best friend Michaela. We caught a long hour and a half train and there were no seats and Sam was so exhausted he sat on the floor, the office workers were all jealous but could not stoop as low. We arrived at michaela’s apartment at Oxford university, she is studying French and Italian, had champagne sushi and headed to a few Oxford Uni Bars before a party we had tickets too. It was very fun and people were very nice buying me birthday drinks. Sam disappeared at one point leaving Tash, Michaela and I and we somehow found our way on the stage with the Crookers. Mom, dad and whoever else doesn’t know their a globally known DJ duo. It was very fun and they loved us.


The next day Sam and I walked around Oxford, it was very beautiful will massive mansions and old stone buildings. It had been two days since I had seen Sam and we’d talked about friends, family, things, work, pets, farm, cars, plants, clothes, sisters, brothers, weddings, travels and we were walking in semi silence. To break the ice I began freestyling. I thought I was getting pretty good but Sam just kept telling me to shut up. When we pet up with Michela that afternoon when she took us on a on a mini-tour of Oxford university she laughed in my face and said I was terrible. I am not content with silence. Michaela showed us the ‘old tree’ the famous cloisters but most importantly showed us areas were Harry Potter was filmed. I instantly felt like a witch and wished for a robe.

Sam has a friend from school who plays soccer for England who came and picked us up and let us crash at his place. In return Sam and I cooked burgers. During the two days left in London we went to the Portobello Markets, walked the Tower Bridge, went to Harrods, Shakespeare’s Globe and Carnaby Street.


At the markets Sam and Reece did not have much of an interest instead it was me picking through vintage boxes, jewellery, watches, badges while they would pick up an old hammer and hit each other on the arm until the seller told them it cost 90E. At one point we passed a TAB and the two boys stopped and talked about a automated Roulette machine which sam was SO interested by I said I was going to walk-on down Portobello road and they can catch up. As I walked off I had to go to the restroom but I had no idea where I was. There were no commercial chain stores or public toilets so I tried to hold on till the boys came. After 15 minutes I could not hold it any more so I asked this gentle looking man selling old vintage army and navy jackets. “Of course sweetie” he said “I’ll take you there myself, I was just on my way”. He took me by the arm and led me off to the nearest cafeteria talking away about his jackets. I was just so happy to find a restroom I was so surprised when Sam RAN up behind me grabbing my by both arms almost knocking me to the floor “AH there you are, WHERE ARE YOU GOING???” Awww poor Sam, he had caught up just in time to see me being left off by an older man by the arm. I reassured Sam of my safety and went off to the cafeteria restroom.
The end of London… Off to Paris..